Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
