how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
