Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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