i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm at about main and main street
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
