Nicole vs. Life
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
