We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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