Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
