i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
