No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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