Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
