some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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