I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
do nipples grow back?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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