Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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