He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
