she woke up with a sticky ear
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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