wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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