dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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