I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.