i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
