My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
