I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I look better un-naked...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
