plz talk dirty to me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
