The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
