I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
