he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
