is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
