did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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