and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
