People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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