She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
