I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
