Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
