Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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