Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm too high and old for this...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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