Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
