no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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