i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
