She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
