They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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