i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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