There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
