How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
