so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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