why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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