my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
