no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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