a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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