The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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