it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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