he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
