Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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