): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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