Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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