the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The adults are the big ones right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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