I'm gonna have a badass scar
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
worst night to have a conscience
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
