i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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