I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
