i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
