first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize